Looking at me in high school and College, most would have seen a smart, happy, and vibrant person, and wouldn’t have known anything was wrong. Being my father’s daughter, I didn’t discuss what I was experiencing. But, the symptoms I was having were becoming hard to ignore, enough that I began searching for answers.
I saw a doctor at student health services in College, and explained the irregularity of my cycles, skin issues, lightheadedness, and occasional loss of consciousness. Their recommendation to me was to put me on birth control. I began taking the pills, and while they did regulate my cycles, I noticed many significant side effects of the pharmaceuticals. I experienced rapid weight gain, an increase in inflammation and fluid retention in my body, and intense emotional swings. I was told that these were normal side effects.
At a certain point, I felt like the pills were affecting my relationships, and the core of who I was. I began missing the person I was before taking them. I went back to the doctor. He told me about this wonderful new injection that could be given once every three-months. He explained to me that it was very safe, and that he thought it would be a good option for me. Trusting his expertise, I agreed to have the shot.
After receiving this shot, things got much worse. I became depressed, cried almost daily and menstruated continually for 6 months. My iron was almost non-existent, I had no energy or motivation, and I was always slightly nauseous. When I finally stopped bleeding, it was several months before I had another cycle. And the irregularity, and symptoms were now so much worse than they had ever been. There were times when the cramps were so bad that I had to curl up in a little ball on the bathroom floor between classes, or under my desk at work after I got out of College. I honestly feel this was a major turning point in my health, and that my body never wholly recovered from that choice. From this point forward, I experienced a whole new level of dysfunction.
Through most of my 20’s, I saw several doctors, received referrals to dermatologists, endocrinologists and several specialists. I tried several different pharmaceuticals, but saw very little change. The side effects generally outweighed any perceived positive impacts, and I eventually gave up on the idea that western medicine could offer me a solution.
In my late 20’s, I met the man who would later become my husband. I began wondering if it would be possible for me to have children, considering the state of my reproductive health. I spent every spare dime I had on alternative medicine looking for answers. I worked at a Wolf Sanctuary at the time, and had very little money. My insurance did not cover these alternative treatments. I was grateful to be in a community that had many reasonable options for me to explore. I frequented community acupuncture, saw naturopaths and herbalists, and even tried working with a medical intuitive. I was open to anything that could offer perspective, or healing.
I did experience a few minor improvements on this path, and was diagnosed with fibroids. I had an ultrasound revealing several masses in my womb and near my ovaries. The naturopath was certain this was contributing to my health problems. She recommended castor oil packs, and for months I wrapped myself in castor soaked flannels and saran wrap, hoping to reduce their size, and impacts on my body. I had a second ultrasound, and found that most of the large fibroids had shrunk, and many of the small ones had been completely dissolved. While this was encouraging, it didn’t seem to have an effect on my cycles, or overall health.
At 32, I got married. At this point I had pretty much given up hope that I would ever be able to have a child, and we discussed this reality. I’m not sure I fully processed that reality, but rather became numb to it. I had no power to change it.
Shortly after the wedding, I was bit by a wolf, and took several rounds of incredibly strong antibiotics. After that, my cycles had largely disappeared and I began having hot flashes. My heart would start pounding, and my whole body would heat up so much that I wanted to tear off my clothes. Sweat would pour off my body and my clothes would become soaked in an instant. I would get light-headed, and feel like I was going to pass out. The hot flashes became more and more frequent. There were many days when I would have 10 or more hot flashes. It was affecting my marriage, my work, my confidence and my state of being. I began to consider that perhaps I was experiencing menopause even though my naturopath said that I was far too young for that to be the case.
At 33, tests confirmed that I was in fact experiencing menopause. My heart sunk. I felt vacant, and depressed. I had difficulty mustering enough energy and motivation to do anything. I felt hopeless. I didn’t leave the house much. The hot flashes, concern of others, and having to explain things was a harsh reality that I didn’t really want to face. Until those tests, I had been holding on to the possibility that things could change. It took me about a year to digest this reality, and gather the strength to consider making changes in my life.
I knew if I didn’t do something, that nothing would change. I became a keyboard researcher, and my own science project. I studied and practiced detoxification and herbalism, began juicing and eating raw foods, removed my amalgam fillings and lost 40 pounds. I got off the pharmaceuticals I was taking. Through these efforts, the constant hot flashes slowed down to about once a month, and I was feeling better than I had felt in years. I became a certified detoxification specialist and began working with people. I wanted to share what I had learned with others.
Over time, I came off my strict protocols and attempted to find some balance. Upon discontinuing my strict protocols, I experienced sepsis. My appendix was severely inflamed and I ended up in the hospital having an emergency appendectomy. I left the hospital in despair, inflamed and stressed. The weight began accumulating once again. Months later I had a vein in my leg that was causing problems, and again found myself in surgery. I really felt like I was falling apart. The hot flashes were coming back, and once again, it was suggested that I turn to pharmaceuticals to help me find relief, and help regulate aspects of my physiology.
I knew that if I didn’t find a way to save myself, I was likely going to spend the rest of my life in the state of slowly declining health. I had to find it within myself to take my power back. I began to go back to my old protocols, and began working with cannabis. Cannabis inspired me, and as I witnessed this medicine in action, I began to co-create with her. I started a collective and began to grow cannabis. I created medicinal tinctures, edibles, topicals and suppositories and sold them at the local farmers market. I began sharing my knowledge of anatomy, physiology, detoxification and herbalism with patients, filling the gap between a doctor’s recommendation and appropriate forms of administration. I began feeling purpose again, and immersed myself in learning as much as I could.
Our marriage and finances were falling apart, and we eventually separated. Cannabis and the farmers market helped me through this incredibly stressful time in my life, and I committed myself to sharing the medicines with others on a larger scale.
Since that time, I have worked tirelessly to finally offer these medicines to you in their finest forms. These products have evolved from old school processing techniques to nano water-soluble cannabinoid emulsions. It is my sincere desire that these products will help you experience and maintain wellness, cope with stress, find remedy and greater presence.